Wednesday, June 10, 2009


What can be said about this subject?

I just recently watched the movie "He's just not that into you." It, and many other recent things have brought this subject to my constant thoughts....

Why is it that when someone is single (and older than 21), (esspecially in the LDS faith)........others feel a need to point out that you are single and that you "better get a move on...," or something to that effect. Then others try to set you up with the "other-older-singles" just because the two in question are of simular age.... These "thoughtful" people do not even care to look at personalities, they just think the ages suffice! ????????? I know that matchmaking happens in the world, my grandparents were part of that and they are now separated... That's why it is so hard for me to understand what goes into peoples heads when they "set people up"!

On another note.... Why is it that some people freak out when they go on a "date"? The word is just terrifying! I, myself, am privy to this phobia. Why does it freak me out so much? Well.... I think it might be because I, along with all those others out there who are also plagued by this phobia, are afraid to get hurt and "dating" is the intial steps to the untimate let down.......... being rejected in finding love! It is the worst kindof pain.............. It also sucks when you are the one rejecting someone from finding that kindof love.... I never want to do that to someone again....I know that last bit was a bit negative, but isn't it true?

In looking at the movie I afore mentioned:

1.Some of us protect ourselves from finding love by putting up walls with our intendeds so that we don't feel that rejection, because we do not want to take the risk and fully put ourselves out there for someone else to see all of who we are and to give your whole self to someone else...

2.Some of us have this perfect ideal in our heads, even though that is not who we are meant to be with, and we keep running after that person until we get knocked on our butts (being totally rejected) because it took the smack to our face to realize that we are running after the wrong thing...... (The person we find should be our equal, standing by our sides, not walking infront or behind, but hand in hand).....

3.Some of us settled because there was not another option. Why not really fight for what you want....Look for it.... Do not settle!!! If you settle in love, then what does that say for your life overall?

4.Some of us cheat... Be faithful to your love....... Enough said....

5.Some of us find a perfect love and realize that everything we are is meant to be with that one person. They will give 100% while you do the same... Often times in this relationship compromises must be found... It will be a constant work in progress. You will not want anyone else and all the struggles will be overpowered by the beauty in the relationship. This is true love... Marriage does not instantly make things perfect. Perfection is a constant process, it must be worked on each moment of each day!!!

Currently I am single. Very single. I have not seriously dated someone since I was 25. (I'm now 29.) What is funny to me is that I'm very content with that. I do, one day, want to be married and find the kindof relationship that is in #5, but I think it will take time because waiting to find a love that's really worth having is "worth the wait"!!! But until that time comes, I will not be stupid and waste my life waiting for that person. I will make the most of my life so that that person will be proud of me and love me even more for what I've done before I've found him.........

I'd love any thoughts on the matter!


The Pagets in Florida said...

Shrek said it well. Ogres are like onions, donkeys wear their heart on their sleeve. I think I am much more of an ogre than a donkey, though neither sounds very appealing.

Toni said...

Dating, love, romance...all that stuff...not for me. I am pretty bitter about the whole idea of love. At least for me, I don't believe it exists. If other people are in love, good for them. I just don't think it will ever be a part of my life. But, I'm completely okay with that. I'm (days away from being) 27, have never had a boyfriend or any form of serious relationship, I've been on 5 dates ever, and never on a second date.
I'm one of the boys, I'm just a friend, I'm the marrying type but not the dating type...I've heard all that crap. I would rather be happy and single than worry about being in a relationship.
I know how you feel about being "older" and single...I never had much issue until I moved back to Cortez. I'm like an alien when I tell people I'm not married, not engaged, not dating anyone, and not pregnant/have children. It is crazy. Perhaps that is where my bitterness originated. Who knows. that I've ranted...I'll just say that I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with being late 20s and single. Love yourself, find your own happiness and then see if there is someone out there to share it with.


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