I am single. I've been single for 29 years, for crying out loud! I have wanted to get married for about 22 of those years... You'd think that I'd be able to understand a little bit of the opposite sex. Learn to read them and not freak out like I am. I'm almost 30 and yet boys get me all flustered.
I have never been so frustrated with one boy as I am now. Let's call him Fred....
I've know Fred for a little over a month now. I met him on his first Sunday in our ward while we were taking pictures for the ward directory, a few months ago. He was cute, but he didn't stand out from any of the other guys, so I forgot about him quickly. I remembered his name because I was the one making the ward directory, so I was looking at everyone's info over and over again.
So a month or so later he gave a talk in church and I noticed. It was a dang good talk. So I started watching him. (Creepy, I know.) So when I was having my birthday party, I invited him. We got to talking and found out he lives right behind us. Literally, our back yard. is 10 feet from his backyard cause we live in these town homes that are back to back. So he came to my birthday party on the 26th of October and I have had some sort of contact with him everyday since.
The thing that bothers me is that he talks about other girls around me. I have never gotten this jealous. I love being around him, but I don't want to be around him because I know he's not interested. He's becoming one of my best friends and yet he drives me nuts. I'm 4 years older than him, but oddly, I'm okay with that. He will say things that totally throw me off that make me notice him even more. I love so many things about him. We have to much in common it scares me. I'm very comfortable with him. If I don't hear from him, then I start to worry. When I do, I get so excited, I can't stop smiling. I know I need to get over it, cause he will never like someone like me, but I just love being around him. I'm only in the friend zone....
The thing is he's such a great guy. He treats me so well. Like last night, I was occupied and my roommate was changing out my laundry and I couldn't get my clothes, but I had one of my white shirts in it that needed to be hung up pronto. Fred volunteered to go get my laundry basket and take them up to my room. I did not ask him to hang up my shirt, but when I went up later it was hanging up. He is so sweet. I had a terrible week a couple of weeks ago and he just held me for a good while and didn't let go until I told him to let go, which wasn't very long (not touchy) but longer than normally with most people. And I liked it. I was sick last week and he came and gave me a blessing, and when I wasn't able to go to FHE cause I was still feeling sick, he came over just to be with me. I really like him.
I can't believe I'm blogging about this! He will never see this, BTW.
My roommate thinks I should tell him how I feel so I can start getting over it, or start dating him, if he wants. I just can't do that right now.
If you've read this whole rant, tell me what you think I should do... Advice is very welcome on the subject!!!