Loosing a love one - Ode to Joyce

The past couple of days I've been thinking about loosing loved ones on this earth. I'm surprised at how depressed and sad I become. But that does not last long when I think about the testimony I have of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and his plan for us. I thought about the article that President Thomas S. Monson gave in the August Ensign of this year entitled, "May We So Live" I've read it again and great comfort has again been brought to my heart. I've quoted a small part below:


"Death eventually comes to all humankind. It comes to the aged as they walk on faltering feet. Its summons is heard by those who have scarcely reached midway in life’s journey, and often it hushes the laughter of little children. Death is one fact that no one can escape or deny.

"Frequently death comes as an intruder. It is an enemy that suddenly appears in the midst of life’s feast, putting out its lights and gaiety. Death lays its heavy hand upon those dear to us and at times leaves us baffled and wondering. In certain situations, as in great suffering and illness, death comes as an angel of mercy. But for the most part, we think of it as the enemy of human happiness.

"The darkness of death, however, can ever be dispelled by the light of revealed truth.

“'I am the resurrection, and the life,' spoke the Master. 'He that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:

'''And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.'

"This reassurance—yes, even holy confirmation—of life beyond the grave could well provide the peace
promised by the Savior when He assured His disciples: 'Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.'”

-Thomas S. Monson, “May We So Live,” Ensign, Aug 2008, 4–9 (Link below to read the entire article.)
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=caace97864a6b110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1


10+ years ago my best friend, my grandmother, passed away of an unknown heart condition. I still miss her and think of her everyday.
A little over a year ago my grandfather also passed away, but we knew it was coming for he had been sick for a time. I stilll want to walk over to his house when I come home to say "Hi," & give him a hug and a kiss.
A few years back one of my co-workers died at a young age, along with her mother, in a car accident coming back to school from Thanksgiving break. I have a picture of her in my room to remember her.

I remember each of the memorials like it was yesterday and the thing I remember most was not the tears, but the laughter. We celebrated who they were to each of us. We remembered all the good times and thought not of the bad.
President Monson's article continues on to talk of celebrating life. Don't let a lost loved one bring you down and let you wallow. Let it inspire you to continue to do a little better each day.

I hope we all celebrate our own lives a little bit more this holiday season and remember that we will be with our loved ones again. Christ, who was born a mortal babe, died for us and was resurrected so we can live again. We will all live on...

President Monson ended his article with this statement:
"May we resolve from this day forward to fill our hearts with love. May we go the extra mile to include in our lives any who are lonely or downhearted or who are suffering in any way. May we '[cheer] up the sad and [make] someone feel glad.' May we live so that when that final summons is heard, we may have no serious regrets, no unfinished business, but will be able to say with the Apostle Paul, 'I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.'"

IN THE MEMORY OF
JOYCE TATE.
She was my mother in Utah.
May she rest in peace.

Boys.... (take 2)

So I did something..... Fred now knows that I like him and we are no longer hanging out. My choice. He was also kind enough, after some prodding from me, to tell me that he is not interested in dating me. He just doesn't like me in a romantic way. I do miss hanging out with him, but I feel relief and now I can move on. I'm still confused by some of the things he's done, but oh, well....

Thought you'd all like to know that!

Boys....

I am single. I've been single for 29 years, for crying out loud! I have wanted to get married for about 22 of those years... You'd think that I'd be able to understand a little bit of the opposite sex. Learn to read them and not freak out like I am. I'm almost 30 and yet boys get me all flustered.

I have never been so frustrated with one boy as I am now. Let's call him Fred....
I've know Fred for a little over a month now. I met him on his first Sunday in our ward while we were taking pictures for the ward directory, a few months ago. He was cute, but he didn't stand out from any of the other guys, so I forgot about him quickly. I remembered his name because I was the one making the ward directory, so I was looking at everyone's info over and over again.
So a month or so later he gave a talk in church and I noticed. It was a dang good talk. So I started watching him. (Creepy, I know.) So when I was having my birthday party, I invited him. We got to talking and found out he lives right behind us. Literally, our back yard. is 10 feet from his backyard cause we live in these town homes that are back to back. So he came to my birthday party on the 26th of October and I have had some sort of contact with him everyday since.
The thing that bothers me is that he talks about other girls around me. I have never gotten this jealous. I love being around him, but I don't want to be around him because I know he's not interested. He's becoming one of my best friends and yet he drives me nuts. I'm 4 years older than him, but oddly, I'm okay with that. He will say things that totally throw me off that make me notice him even more. I love so many things about him. We have to much in common it scares me. I'm very comfortable with him. If I don't hear from him, then I start to worry. When I do, I get so excited, I can't stop smiling. I know I need to get over it, cause he will never like someone like me, but I just love being around him. I'm only in the friend zone....
The thing is he's such a great guy. He treats me so well. Like last night, I was occupied and my roommate was changing out my laundry and I couldn't get my clothes, but I had one of my white shirts in it that needed to be hung up pronto. Fred volunteered to go get my laundry basket and take them up to my room. I did not ask him to hang up my shirt, but when I went up later it was hanging up. He is so sweet. I had a terrible week a couple of weeks ago and he just held me for a good while and didn't let go until I told him to let go, which wasn't very long (not touchy) but longer than normally with most people. And I liked it. I was sick last week and he came and gave me a blessing, and when I wasn't able to go to FHE cause I was still feeling sick, he came over just to be with me. I really like him.

I can't believe I'm blogging about this! He will never see this, BTW.

My roommate thinks I should tell him how I feel so I can start getting over it, or start dating him, if he wants. I just can't do that right now.
If you've read this whole rant, tell me what you think I should do... Advice is very welcome on the subject!!!

Your address, not mine... ;)

I'm in need of an address book update. Please comment with your addresses!
Thanks and best wishes to all of you.

In answer to recent questions.

I'm applying to a bookbinding school in Boston called North Bennett Street School. It only accepts 6 people per year. The next year starts in August 2009. But I am planning on transfering out to an Olive Garden there, but I have to wait 6 months before they will let me transfer. So the soonest I can move out there is April. And I find out if I made it in by April. So everything will be decided in April. But I might wait and go there right before school starts in August and save money in Utah. It depends on the next few months.

Let me know if you'd like to know anything else.

Power Trips

About a month ago I started working at Olive Garden as a server in the new restaurant that opened in American Fork. I got to be part of the opening crew. It's been fun.
Well.... as part of this new opening, they started interviewing for CT (Certified Trainer) positions. I interviewed only because I knew I would regret it. I really did not want the job cause I do not plan on staying with Olive Garden as a career. It is a good opportunity so that I can transfer to an Olive Garden in Boston, so that I can have a job when I go there.
So... they've made about 20 people CTs just this past Sunday. Some have blue cards- meaning they can help do managerial swipes for all of the lower peons that need help on their checks, combining checks and so on. When I saw the list, I was excited for most of the people that got the positions, but I cringed inside when I saw 4 of the people. I hate to say it, but this little blue card is giving these 4 a huge head. The whole part of being a CT (there is no pay raise, or more hours... just more responsibility) is that they are there to help with team work and lightening the load. These 4 people will remain nameless, but they have let this go to their heads. I have worked at this restaurant the same amount of time as they have. Now because they have a card, they think they can tell me what to do, even though I'm right and they are wrong. A simple example is soup: Sometimes when we ladel when the soup is low there is not any chunkiness left, just bits and pieces of what was there. So when it's full there's a lot of chuckiness and substance. So this new CT saw me getting bread sticks and saw my tray full of my 3 soups and saw that the Zuppa Toscana (sausage & potatoe soup) was really chunky. Mind you, this was from a full pot... She told me that I need to not dig from the bottom of the bowl so that when it starts to get low there will still be chunks in it. This was said very condisendingly... I looked at her and looked at the soup and told her to go look at the pot and see that I got it from the top, after mixing it. She huffed over and looked in and I could hear her say, "Oh..." under her breath. I was busy and needed to take my food out, so I left her there while I delivered my food.
My vent is this: If you deserve the promotion, kudos to you. But if you get it and treat people like they're idiots only two days after getting it, then you didn't deserve it to begin with. I am glad I'm not a CT, because honestly, I would probably let it go to my head and I don't want to be like that. I admit it. But 3 of the CTs do not deserve it and they need to step back and reacess who they think they are before going forward.
I have vented and I feel better.

Just so you know, I do love my job. I make crappy tips, but most of the people I work with are freaking awesome and I look forward to seeing them everyday. It will help me when I move to Boston because I will be able to have a job when I move there, which has been a worry.

I hope you all are doing fantastic and if you want to go out to eat at an Olive Garden, let me know and I'll go with to let you have my discount. ;)

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Fun stuff!! These guys are so funny!

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